5 pieces of advice that I would give to my 20-year-old self!
Regrets are by-products of the choices we make.
The idea for this blog came from a thought experiment that I conducted online through my Instagram handle. The idea was to get an insight into what regrets people have or had, or what advice they would have had got when they were in their 20s.
We do have regrets some or the other time in our lives simply because many times, we realize that we could have done something in a better way, or said something to someone in a more amicable way, or could have taken some decision sooner than later. Regrets are by-products of choices we make, whether those choices were made in the heat of the moment, or they were deliberately thought out.
Most of us, who have entered into their 30s or are entering into their 30s, do reflect back on what all we wished someone told those 10 years ago. Since life is a sum total of all the choices we make, we can easily look back and decide for ourselves about the advice that someone gave to us. The tricky part is that when we are in our 20s, there are people who are willing to give us valuable insight on what could happen in the next 10 years, or they have been through this age already and have enough experience to share with us, but we get so busy in figuring out life our own that we seldom pay heed to them!
But that doesn’t make us wrong, or immature or reckless or desperate, that only makes us human. Our struggles during that period are our own to understand and to fight. It isn’t necessary that everyone we meet on our way will understand our journey, but then, chances are that we can turn out better versions of ourselves when we come out of the dark tunnel of uncertainty.
So, based on some of the most interesting answers from my thought experiment, here are the 5 best pieces of advice I think anyone would want to give to their 20-year-old self!
1. “Humans are toxic, learn to be on your own”
Bitter experiences and foolish decisions are a part of our early 20s. As we grow up, we realize that all that bitterness starts burning a hole through us, and it becomes too overwhelming to handle. Humans are toxic, but that doesn’t mean that we blame ourselves for the things that weren’t in our control in the first place. Learning to be on our own, on the other hand, is a more positive way to look at things.
Learning to be on our own simply means finding ourselves. The age from 20 to 30 is a defining period for anyone, and by the time we have crossed the 26-year mark, we already become well aware of how the world works. Thus, although, I don’t fully agree with the “humans are toxic” part, I would love to advise my 20-year-old self to learn to be on their own as soon as possible!
2. “Don’t keep any expectations from work, plan to move ahead before time”
Working professionals who start their careers fresh out of college have an endless supply of energy that enables them to work long hours without breaking a sweat. This is something that all of us need to understand about life. It is not supposed to be a race, it is supposed to be an experience. Imagine running through a beautiful meadow, with a beautiful clear ravine flowing nearby with snow-covered peaks in the distance, but running through all of that in hopes of reaching somewhere beautiful!
That’s what work does in most cases. There’s nothing wrong with running, but there’s nothing wrong with slowing down a bit and letting things into perspective, either. Work will always be there, and we are replaceable. More so, waiting for that promotion 2 years down the line, or appraisal 6 months away isn’t going to get us anywhere in reality.
Being stuck is difficult, and one should be ready to move on as soon as possible. Calculated risks are a myth, because a risk is a risk anyway, and all that one can do is take a leap of faith!
3. “Don’t love someone”
Well, my interpretation is slightly different from what the person who said this actually meant.
Failing in love when we are in our 20s is well, something that most of us have experienced. But that doesn’t mean the end of the world. Many times, we give up on love because we failed miserably at our relationship. That makes us wiser in our choices in life, and more so, helps us overcome our grief in later stages of life when we have already experienced what it feels like in the first place.
The pain of losing someone you dearly love is devastating and can push you to the extremities of your sanity, but it is in these trying times that human beings learn to gather themselves back up and try to move on. It is necessary to seek help, and try to lead a better life because life is worth living!
My advice?
It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all!
4. “Don’t limit yourself in just one field, explore the world, you will definitely find better opportunities”
This one is one of my favorites! Do you remember what you wanted to become when you were a kid? And do you realize what you actually became?
This is the worst mistake any young person can commit in their early 20s. Being stuck to what you think you can do is best to clear your debts, pay your bills and lead a stable life! No, it doesn’t work that way, or at least, it is not the fulfilling and rewarding way.
Exploring what you are good at is something that takes a lot of time and effort. Just because you became an engineer doesn’t mean that you cannot make a career out of photography. Exploring different things early on in our lives not only makes us wiser, but also enriches our soul. These things might not pay your bills on time, or force you to make mistakes, but when you have finally found your true calling, you’ll find everything fall in place! All it needs is perseverance and focus.
5. “Change your mind and try new things”
This is similar to point no. 4, but there is a catch.
Changing one’s mind here means being flexible and open to experiences. Rigidity or stubbornness doesn’t help much. Many people who hold their family traditions and values dear think that trying something new can be a sin, but that’s just an orthodox mindset.
Trying new things in life as we enter our 20s and deciding our habits in the crucial 10 year period makes us who we are, for the rest of our lives. That doesn’t mean that you forget your traditions and family values, that simply means that you have decided to find the balance between the way you want to lead your life and those value systems.
Final thoughts
Personally, the most important advice that I would give to my 20-year-old self would be to focus more on myself and less on the people around me.
Growing up, we find that people who are important to us will always have some or the other opinion regarding things. Realizing what is important, or right for us can be tricky in a period of uncertainty, and we usually rely on the opinions of others to make crucial decisions in our lives.
That is exactly what should be undone. The happiest people I know are the ones who always follow their hearts, no matter what. I realized later on in my life that people are just people, and everyone will always have something to say. It is up to us to filter out the trash and let in only things or opinions that hit the right cords of our soul.
All suggestions and comments are welcome! If you want to add up something, be my guest and hit the comments section right away!
Happy reading!
