What to expect from Flirts who also happen to be Gentlemen!
Of all the talents that people thought I had, some of my friends were really in awe of my flirting skills. Some used to be embarrassed too but that is understandable. In a conservative society such as India, dating is still hype and is looked down upon in many households. Although, in the past decade, the situation has changed quite a lot and I feel relieved for the generation younger than me and hopeful for the generation older than me.
Since college, I have been very proactive in communicating with people of all ages, gender, and communities. I am here to share my experiences after decade long experimentation with flirting and the right way to court someone, although, I haven’t been in a serious relationship for long, so don’t judge me :D
Who are Flirts?
A flirt is someone who would seduce you without you even having the slightest idea about it. Alright, just kidding, let’s tone down a little and move on to seduction later.
Anyway, so my definition of a flirt is simple. The word ‘Flirt’ is often associated as an adjective to downgrade the character of a guy or basically used as a substitute for a womanizer. That is the gravest mistake that girls make when judging a guy.
For me, a flirt is someone who knows how to woo a lady with looks, body language, and deep meaningful conversations. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the guy is looking for a serious relationship, rather, he might just be having a good time and making the lady of her choice feel good about herself too.
You can find flirts everywhere. The biggest problem is reciprocation. Girls usually get apprehensive while speaking to one, while guys tend to cross the line that separates a gentleman from a not-so-gentleman. Guys have to be smart enough to understand what makes a woman uncomfortable at the first meeting, and girls should be a little more accommodating to guys trying to flirt with them harmlessly.
Genuine flirts who happen to be Gentlemen too!
Varied, divided opinions on this one but the bottom line remain the same. Guys who are sure of themselves will never ever try to belittle a lady at any point in time. A guy who is accommodating and open to a good conversation will always have open body language and will not be afraid of rejection (trust me, I have been rejected a lot!). The idea is to take an initiative. Half of the guys out there, get uncomfortable even at the thought of talking to a girl, let alone approach her openly and asking her out. Unfortunately, a guy who is trying to reach out to a new girl every week is considered either desperate or a womanizer.
These judgemental ideas don’t affect a gentleman flirt. He knows that people will have their opinions and that doesn’t stop him from tryouts and experimenting. Girls do that all the time, but they come across as too modest to accept it.
A Gentleman Flirt (as I would like to put it) is good at complimenting. You will come across many men who will compliment you but then, what next? Simply complimenting a lady isn’t going to make an impression, guys. A flirt knows what to say next and keeps the conversation going. Flirting is never ever physical, it’s always mental. If you, as a guy, simply want to get inside her pants and get done with it, then I’m sorry to say you can’t go a long way.
Girls, on the other hand, who are attracted to good physique and personality wouldn’t mind dating a fitness model or a Greek God. Not all men can have a ripped body and six-pack abs, which is, unfortunately, a misguided perception about how an ideal man should be. A flirt is comfortable in his own skin. He has his own shortcomings, and he will never be shy about them, not immediately, but surely. Women who are really into mental and emotional stimulation, know what I’m talking about and they’d agree too.
A Gentleman flirt will engage you in such a stimulating conversation that you’d want to talk to him more. More than that, you’d love to listen to him. Some of the best flirts I have known have one thing in common- they know how to make someone laugh, and not just women. Women get a heightened affection signal from the brain when they find someone who can make them laugh. That doesn’t mean that every stand-up comic artist you see is good at flirting. Absolutely not. The best flirts can be some of the most serious men on this planet.
A gentleman flirt is as realistic as possible. He would not make up things just to impress you, or project something about him that he is not. (This is a serious deal-breaker for both men and women who are looking for a long-term relationship, but more on it later). So, being realistic means that they’d be straightforward with you but in a subtle manner. This is a slightly complicated skill to master if you’re only looking at her and not thinking. Hilariously, men tend to go into a brain freeze as soon as they come across a lady who is just drop-dead-gorgeous (happened a lot with me and I still haven’t been able to figure out the science behind it). A Gentleman Flirt is ready for the challenge at all times and knows that he might face rejection, but tries anyway.
And lastly, they’d never try to force themselves on you. Flirting has many verbal and non-verbal cues that are used to seduce a woman in a subtle way, without making her feel uncomfortable about herself at any moment. Many men might think that she likes to be dominated, and she should be dominated at all times, but that is what separates you from the Gentlemen class. Sure, some women like to be dominated in bed, but no woman likes to be forced upon. Whether it’s your fiftieth date with her or you’ve just met at the bar, if you can’t flirt in the right way, you’re not getting her attention for long.
Disclaimer
There can be a lot of opinions from a lot of people who are reading this, and do-not and can-not agree with me. This is a trial at a light-hearted yet informative piece of wisdom that I often think gets ignored. If you have any suggestions, drop them in the comments, or message me to have a conversation. And while you’re at it, please remember, I’m sure of myself and all the things I mentioned above.
Just kidding.
Happy reading.
